Examining the experiences of people with mental disorders provides an opportunity to understand their experiences and life situations. Interpersonal relationships are one of the most critical areas in the lives of individuals with PDD. The interpersonal experiences of these individuals were examined in this study. Five main themes emerged, namely (1) Feeling empty of love and compassion; (2) feeling of being ignored; (3) ignoring others’ needs, conditions, and sufferings; (4) feeling of being annoying to others, and (5) feeling of being confused and helpless in relationships. The sub-themes of becoming hard-hearted, becoming excessively demanding, and the conflict between being alone or in a crowd were not reported in previous studies.
Feeling empty of love and compassion was one of the interpersonal themes of the present study. This theme was also cited in previous studies (
11-
13). Various studies have indicated a negative relationship between depression and self-compassion (
14). The results of the study by Gilbert and Procter (
15) showed that patients with chronic mental health problems often have doubts, fears, and resistance in the first attempts at compassion. They are often doubtful whether self-compassion is worthwhile or not and see it as a sign of weakness. In fact, one of the reasons for fear of showing compassion to others is that some people confuse compassion with passivity and are afraid of showing their weakness and passivity by showing compassionate behaviors (
16).
According to our results, all three directions of compassion, namely self-compassion, compassion for others, and receiving compassion from others (
17) were difficult for the individual with depression (
13).
Joyner (
18) reported the feeling of being annoying to others. Joyner (
18) believed that individuals with chronic depression suffer from the fact that their depressive manifestations harm significant people in their lives. In fact, they feel responsible for causing emotional pain in significant people and ignoring them. This suffering causes a sense of guilt and fear. Hooley et al. (cited in Butcher et al.) (
19) also pointed out that one of the problematic consequences of depression in interpersonal relationships is that it can pass to other family members; the depressed person’s behaviors can create negative emotions in the loved ones. Some other researchers (
18,
20) believed the same.
Regarding the theme of being ignored, most participants complained about the lack of a supportive individual in their past and present lives, i.e., an individual who expresses his love and affection unconditionally, respects and understands them. The experience of distressing events early in life (e.g., mother’s cold emotional relationships, troubled parental relationships, parental divorce, parental loss, family member’s mental disorders, neglect, and abuse) can have negative psychological consequences for the individual, including depression (
21-
23).
Having high expectations of others and rejection of opposing views are instances of the participants’ experiences that somehow pinpoint self-centeredness. The same was reported in previous research (
18,
24). Self-centeredness and lack of empathy with others lead the individual to life without social relations (
25). As some of the participants reported, they become indifferent to the needs of others due to depression. They believe that as a result of depression, they neither care about the needs and sufferings of others nor the impact of their behavior on others.
The lowered tolerance threshold, the tendency to be alone, the conflict between being alone and being with others, and the inability to manage relationships are among the emotions experienced by the participants of the present study in their interpersonal relationships. It is believed that depression is associated with communication skills problems. Individuals with depression commonly evaluate their social skills more negatively than non-depressed ones (
26).
The depressed individuals’ problems in their relationships and interpersonal styles have also been reported in different studies (
27-
30). Fear of others’ judgments and lack of skills, such as courage, expressing feelings and needs, and problem-solving have led to helplessness in managing relationships (
31). Therefore, they decide to avoid relationships. As McCullough and Clark (
5) pointed out, pervasive interpersonal fear-avoidance is a hallmark of the pathology of an individual with chronic depression. Interpersonal behaviors, such as avoiding social situations or conflict due to the loss of positive social reinforcement play a role in the persistence of depression (
32).
5.1. The Role of Culture in the Lived Experience of Women with PDD
Although the experience of depression has shared aspects in different cultures, the effect of culture and social conditions on differentiating this experience should not be neglected. Therefore, it is better to examine this experience in the cultural context of the study population. In fact, cultural factors play a crucial role in causing and exacerbating depression.
Each province or city has its own culture and customs that can directly or indirectly influence individuals’ physical and mental health. Rahmani (
33) reported that characteristics, such as adherence to etiquette and caution are among Isfahan culture’s prominent characteristics. These traits can affect both the emotional and cognitive experiences of depression and the severity of depressive symptoms.
Excessive adherence to etiquette and discipline can lead to emotional vulnerability, especially when others do not observe such etiquette. This commitment can lead to extreme expectations of oneself and others to follow certain order and standards, and if expectations are not met, feelings of anger or guilt will arouse. Task orientation is one of the essential components of the mentioned culture, but extreme task-orientation causes suffering to individuals. The concept of human rights is less taken into account in Eastern culture. An individual raised in this educational paradigm finds himself or herself in debt to others. However, this feeling of morbid indebtedness gradually turns into a neurotic entitlement associated with the theme of self-centeredness and the sub-theme of excessively demanding.
Due to the excessive adherence to order and etiquette (
33), perfectionism seems prominent in Isfahan’s culture. Perfectionism can reduce the individual’s inner satisfaction, which can result in being unkind to himself. In perfectionism, an individual never reaches the desired point; therefore, he does not usually experience inner satisfaction and might constantly blame himself for this failure. Conditional love for others or being loved by others (to achieve perfectionist goals) is the underlying cause of these annoying feelings. Regarding the feelings of confusion and helplessness in the relationships of individuals with depression, having high expectations of oneself and others can be attributed to this cultural feature.
The experience of the inability to express feelings and needs in the participants of this study can be explained by the cultural characteristics of caution and conservatism. The fear of being judged, upsetting another, or fear of feeling guilt are the underlying causes that prevent self-expression. In addition, self-expression is considered rude or disgusting behavior in this culture, causing the suppression of emotions and suffering by an individual with depression.
5.2. Clinical Implications of the Research
Regarding the experiences of women with PDD who participated in this study, it can be stated that the themes obtained from the experiences of women with depression in Isfahan indicated that different components should be considered in the therapeutic relationship and the treatment approach used. These patients’ suffering is due to the lack of self-compassion and showing compassion for others, deprivation of receiving love from others, and inability to cope with negative emotions and effective management of interpersonal relationships.
Compassion is a valuable asset, the lack of which has negative consequences, such as depression, and it was quite evident among the participants of this study. Therefore, it is necessary to include compassion in educational interventions to treat these people and the educational programs to increase compassion for oneself and others. One of the primary sources of suffering for people with depression is the inability to manage relationships effectively; therefore, it is necessary to train them to build and maintain relationships. They should also be provided with appropriate strategies for coping with distressing feelings, such as sadness, fear, anger, boredom, and hatred, causing problems in interpersonal relationships. In general, considering all the components of these individuals’ experiences, it is necessary to use interventions that address all these components. Furthermore, due to this disorder’s chronicity, it is required to conduct interventions and long-term follow-ups.
5.3. Limitations and Suggestions for Future Research
There were two main limitations in the present study that should be addressed in future research. The first limitation goes back to generalizations. The present study findings cannot be generalized to a larger population, especially men with PDD. Therefore, it is suggested to examine the lived experience of men and women with PDD in different cultures. Another limitation of this study is related to the interview questions. Future researchers are suggested to include questions about adaptation experiences, coping styles, and pharmacological and psychological intervention experiences of these individuals as they can provide valuable information to clinicians. It is also suggested that future researchers examine how social characteristics, such as gender, marital status, employment status, and ethnicity affect the meaning that individuals attribute to depression.