In total, 13 parents taking care of a child with cancer participated in the interview, on average, two years after the diagnosis of cancer in their children. Parents participating in the study were 27 to 43 years with a mean age of 33.2 years, all of whom were married except one. The results of the interviews extracted were carefully reviewed and the responses were categorized in the form of concepts in order to identify the experiences of parents in caring for a child with cancer. The extracted themes include eight main themes: parent’s concern about their child’s death, the inability of parents to answer their children’s questions, the inability of parents to deal adequately with child aggression, the discomfort and suffering of parents from the complications of treatment, the burden of economic, social, and psychological difficulties with family, lack of time, parents’ experienced the impact of spiritual support on their feeling: as well as an influence on the relationship between parents. Eighteen subthemes were extracted that are showed in
Box 1.
| Themes and Subthemes |
|---|
| Parental concern about their child's death |
| Feeling hopeless for treatment of their children |
| Effects on mental and sleep of parents |
| The inability of parents to answer their children’s questions |
| The inability of parents to answer questions about the reason of their children diseased |
| The inability of parents to answer their children’s questions about death |
| Parents’ inability to deal adequately with child aggression |
| Inability to deal with child fights with her associates |
| Inability to deal with child aggression for scream of the white nurses’ clothes |
| Inability to deal with child aggression for resisting in eating the drug |
| Parents’ inconvenience and suffering from the complications of the treatment |
| Parents suffering from children’s hair loss as a complications of the chemotherapy |
| Parents suffering from children’s nauseous and vomiting as a complications of the chemotherapy |
| Parents didn’t like to force children for treatment |
| The economic, social, and psychological problems’ burden on the family |
| The economic pressure on the family due to direct and indirect costs |
| The psychological problems on the family due to change of mood, being ill-tempered, being nervous and sensitive |
| Lack of time |
| Lack of time to spend for other family members |
| Lack of time for pleasure activities |
| Parents’ experienced the impact of spiritual support on their feeling |
| Experience of prayer and trust in God had a good effect on their feelings |
| Experience of emotional support from their spouse, other children, and first class families had a good effect on their feelings |
| Effects or outcomes of child disease on relationships between parents |
| Problems have arisen between couples |
| The correlation of couples increased |
4.1. Parental Concern About Their Child’s Death
Many parents expressed a great deal of frustration with their child’s recovery, and some thought the disease was led to death and expressed a great deal of concern. Parent code 1 said, “At first I did not believe at all that my child had been diagnosed with cancer, but since he became worse, I constantly think about losing him, and I cannot sleep from this thought and concern at night... I have repeatedly asked God to give me death instead of him”.
4.2. The Inability of Parents to Answer Their Children’s Questions
The parents spoke on questions that their sick children asked about illness and death. The answer to some of these philosophical questions has been difficult for parents, such as “do I go to paradise after death?”, “If I die, can I still see you (my mother and father)?”, “If I promise to be a good boy, I will not die anymore?” (mother of a 7-year-old child), “Has God put on sickness and pain to punish my mistakes?” (mother of a 10-year-old child)
4.3. Parents’ Inability to Deal Adequately with Child Aggression
Most of the interviewed parents were agonizing in regards to their child due to a sickly illness, and even one parent acknowledged that the pain and presence in the hospital caused her child to scream constantly and fight with her associates (mother of a 6-year-old child). Another mother said that her child was resisting and aggressive in eating the drug, and another parent said, “my son is afraid of the white nurses’ clothes, and when they see them next to his bed, he gets nervous”.
4.4. Parents’ Inconvenience and Suffering from the Complications of the Treatment
“My daughter is worried about her hair loss”, “after every chemotherapy, my child becomes ill for up to a week... nauseous and vomiting so much that I’m tormented”. “At the previous chemotherapies, my child got so bad that now when she sees that she must undergo chemotherapy once again she fights with me, we had to force her to be prepared for treatment because she is anxious”. “My daughter is ashamed of her hair loss, and she is not attended among the population and playing with other kids, she worries that the rest will laugh at her... so she hides from the people”.
4.5. The Economic, Social, and Psychological Problems’ Burden on the Family
Caring for a child with cancer imposes a lot of costs to their families. The cost of the provision of medicine, diet, hospitalization, and transport put economic pressure on the family. In addition, indirect costs, such as reduced working hours, resulting in reduced earnings, loss of livelihood, and loss of job opportunities are imposed on parents and family. One of the mothers said, “before my child became sick, I was employed, but I cannot go to work because of her care and treatment”. One of the fathers also said: “I am self-employed and I cannot spend enough time working because of my business and so my income has fallen... but family spending has risen for hospitals and medications... in general, income, and expenses are not well-matched”.
One of the participants said, “since my child has been ill, my mood has been changed... I’ve been ill-tempered... I get nervous quickly and scream.... I’m very sensitive to my associates’ behaviors. I get my heart out even trivial behaviors... I feel I’m so less severe”.
4.6. Lack of Time
Due to the hospitalization of the child in the hospital as well as the care of the sick child at home, most mothers have been forced to change their lifestyle. They need to spend a lot of time and energy in caring for the sick child and have less time for themselves. For example, one of the parents said: “I am always involved with the hospital and keeping the patient... If my mother did not support us, my other children could not go to school and stay. My mother filled the void left by my absence for them”. “Since I was involved with my childhood illness, I really do not have the time to play the role of a housewife... I used to be an obsessive person, but now my home and my life are in a different situation and I cannot even take care myself”.
Previously, we always went to parties and spent time with relatives and acquaintances, but now, we have no time at all for our leisure... even when we do not have time for a break. “Unlike in the past, I cannot handle myself, my husband, and my life. It’s really hard for me”.
4.7. Parents’ Experienced the Impact of Spiritual Support on Their Feeling
By different statements, the majority of parents referred to their experience of prayer and trust in God increased their tolerance against the problem. For example, the mother of a 6-year-old child said: “Whatever God wants is the same... I’ve trusted god and I keep mentioning him... All my friends and relatives also pray for my child’s health... I hope that the blessing of these prayers will cause my child to be healed”.
One of the fathers said: “Since my son’s disease has been diagnosed, I have not missed my treatment... I have seen the best doctors and I’ve done everything I could, but he will not be cured until God’s will”.
One of the mothers said: “I do not have the patience to see my child’s pain and suffering... whenever I’m despair and restless, I calm down myself by prayer, because God has said in the Qur’an, with the remembrance of God, the hearts become calm... I believe that the only one who can save my child from illness is God. So, always at the height of despair, I ask for help from him, and sometimes I vow”.
Parents also referred to experience of spiritual and emotional support from their spouse, other children, and first-class families. Most mothers said that receiving emotional support from relatives had been soothing and hearty for them. The experience of receiving promising sentences, family members’ sympathy, being perceivable by relatives was one of the things that had a good effect on parents. For example, one of the mothers said: “Sometimes I cry out and I’m so depressed that I confined myself in my room and I do not like to be in touch with anyone... If my wife and my parents did not give me comfort, I do not know how I adapted myself to these conditions. “Another mother said: “My wife stands standing like a mountain behind me and my child and does not hesitate to do anything... If we didn’t have her encouragement, I would not survive alone under the pressure of my child disease”.
4.8. Effects or Outcomes of Child Disease on Relationships Between Parents
Parental relationships change in the face of a child’s illness. In some families, the disease has been shown to increase the correlation of couples and, in some cases, problems have arisen between them. One of the mothers said, “my husband is more patient than me and always tries to hope that our child will be good... but I’m nervous and aggressive when I see my child suffering and sometimes I’m very sad to fight with him....” He always calls me calmly, but once told me that it was tired of seeing this situation, and if I continue to do this, it gets discouraged from me”. “One of the mothers said: “Since we found out that our child has cancer, the relationship between me and my wife has changed... although we are often tired and marital relationships are dimmed, the emotional relationship between us is strengthened and our relationship is in a new direction.... In my opinion, in such problems, it becomes clear how much the husband and wives are behind each other”.
One of the initial reactions to the diagnosis of cancer in children was that parents had been looking for a cause for the disease in their child. One of the mothers said: “My husband always smoked at home and blamed him for the first time and fought with him”.